Shoulder to Cry On
by princessbuffy79
Summary: Buffy is having a hard time dealing with her mother's illness and Xander is there to help her get through the rough times.


Shoulder to Cry On   
  


Title: Shoulder to Cry On (1/1)  
Author: Melissa Email: [princessbuffy79@hotmail.com][1]  
Rating: G  
Disclaimer: Come on, if I owned any of these characters, would I be begging anyone to please read my stories? Sadly, Buffy and co. are owned by Joss, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox, The WB, and whoever else holds rights. I'm just borrowing them for my own twisted pleasure for the moment. K.O.??? The song briefly mentioned is "Kryptonite" by Three Doors Down. So that's not mine either.  
Summary: Xander and Buffy share a moment.  
Spoilers: All events leading up to "Listening to Fear" are fair game.   
Distribution: If you want it, go ahead. Just let me know where it's going.  
Feedback: Feedback is good, very good.   
  
  
  


"Go away!" 

Xander heard the muffled yell through the door and sighed. Turning around, he glanced at Dawn. "How long has she been in there?" 

Dawn looked as if she was on the verge of tears. "Ever since she gave mom her medication. That was about noon, I think," she replied. "Xander, help her. She won't talk to anyone." 

"Don't worry, my fair Dawn," Xander said, grinning at the younger girl. He too was worried about Buffy, but he didn't want Dawn to freak out. "Why don't you go on downstairs and I'll talk to Buffy." Dawn nodded and took off down the stairs. 

"Buffy. . ." Xander began. 

"I said 'go away,'" came the irritated reply. 

"Well, you know, I don't listen very well," Xander stated. "And I happen to be very persistent. If you don't come let me in, I'm going to sit out here and serenade you until you open the door." He listened for any movement inside the bedroom. Hearing none, Xander decided to make good on his threat. Unfortunately, he could only remember the words to one song, Three Door's Down's "Kryptonite." But that would probably benefit him in the end. She would definitely break down, not wanting him to ruin her favorite song. 

Buffy heard Xander begin to sing. **I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind** He didn't have a bad voice, really. It was actually kind of nice. And that was her favorite song. She couldn't stop the small smile that fell across her lips. She cherished that brief moment, but it ended much too soon. 

Buffy was tired. She was emotionally drained and just wanted to be alone. Her life had become too hard, much too fast. Sure, life had never been easy because she was the Slayer, but this was too much. Her mother was dying and there was nothing she could do to stop it. Give her a demon, a vampire, a monster. Anything. Just make it something she can kill. 

Xander still sang. He finally got around to the chorus for about the tenth time when Buffy opened the door. "Please, don't sing any more," she begged. "I want to remember the song fondly. You can come in." Buffy moved aside and motioned Xander through the entryway. Xander gloated and walked into her room. **If I go crazy, then will you still call me Superman** 

Buffy grabbed her pillow and smacked Xander upside the head with it. "Shut up!" Xander smiled at her and flopped down on the bed. Buffy rolled her eyes and laid down beside him. 

"So Buffy, spill," Xander told Buffy, turning his head sideways to look at her. 

"Spill what?" Buffy asked, feigning ignorance. 

"You know what," Xander replied, dropping the mask of humor he always wore. This was a time for seriousness. "Buffy, you need to talk to someone and I fully intend to be that person." 

Buffy grumbled, a mumbled mess of words Xander didn't bother to decipher. He turned onto his side and looked closely at his friend. Buffy looked older. There were little wrinkles around her eyes that he didn't remember ever seeing before. She had bags under her eyes, obviously from a lack of sleep. But it was the look in her eyes that worried him. They were filled with pain and sorrow. She was fighting a battle she couldn't win. Xander longed to throw his arms around her and just hold her. 

"What makes you think I need to talk?" Buffy asked him, trying to hold in the tears that were threatening to fall. She wanted to tell him everything so bad. To let it all out. But she had told Riley the truth. She had to be strong. If she started crying now, she didn't know if she'd ever be able to stop. It had taken all of her strength to get herself together last time. The alien creature attacking didn't hurt. 

"Buff, you're mom's sick," Xander told her. She glared at him. "Look, it would be stupid of me to say otherwise. It's a fact. She's sick. But it's not your fault." 

"I know it's not my fault, but I just wish. . ." 

"That you could just dust it like a vampire and it would blow away like dust in the wind?" Xander supplied. 

"Yeah, how'd you know?" 

"I know you. You're strong. You face death all of the time, but you usually know exactly what to do," Xander said. "Vampires require a stake through the heart, beheading, holy water, and all that jazz. But this is something you cannot fight. There is no easy answer. You can't just go kill something and make everything all better. This scares you." 

Buffy was surprised. Xander put her thoughts and feelings into words better than she ever could. But that was exactly how she felt. Helpless. Terrified. Alone. 

"Look, I've always been here for you. I always will," Xander noticed the tears forming in the Slayer's eyes. "I'm offering you my big manly Kleenex otherwise known as my shoulders." 

"But I can't. . ." Buffy took a deep breath. "If I start, I don't know if I can stop and I need to. . ." 

"Be strong?" Xander asked. Buffy looked at him in amazement. How did he know her so well? "Buffy, you are only human. This is a lot for anyone to deal with. You can be strong in front of everyone else, but you shouldn't have to be strong in front of your friends." 

Buffy looked into his deep brown eyes and before she could stop herself, she curled up against him and sobbed. Xander released a breath he had not realized he had been holding. He wrapped his arms around her tiny body as she released endless tears of pain and frustration. He wished there was more he could do to protect her from this suffering. But there wasn't anything he could do other than offer his never-ending support. 

Buffy cried as she thought about the past few week's. Her mom was sick, Riley was distanced, and there was this whole problem with Glory to deal with. It was all just too much. She didn't know what to do. But it felt good to cry. To let it all out, if only for a moment. She didn't know if she'd ever be able to stop. 

Buffy sniffled as she pulled herself into a sitting position. Wiping her eyes on the backs of her hands, she turned to Xander, who had pulled himself into a seated position as well. Here was a guy who had stood by her through thick and thin. He knew her so well. No matter what, she knew she could count on him. He would be her shoulder to cry on. 

"Feel better?" Xander questioned, looking at his friend with worried eyes. 

Buffy smiled, the first genuine smile in a long time. "Yeah, actually, I do." Xander shot her the lopsided grin she had grown to love. 'He really is kinda cute when he does that,' she thought. Buffy leaned once more against his familiar form, grateful for his support. "Xander?" 

"Yeah Buff?" 

"Thank you."   
  
  


   [1]: mailto:princessbuffy79@hotmail.com



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